pink-martini:

aguamentis:

pottergood:

davyjonesing:

#IT’S A HOGWARTS AU WHERE EVERYONE HAS TO TAKE MUGGLE STUDIES FIRST YEAR TO LEARN ABOUT ACCEPTANCE AND SOMETIMES THEY TAKE BREAKS AND COLOR AND STUFF AND DRACO IS /BORED/ BECAUSE THEY DON’T MOVE AND WHAT IS THIS? WHAT IS A /CRAYOLA/? AND THEN HE DRAWS HIS FAMILY EXCEPT THEY ALL KIND OF LOOK LIKE BLOND BOBS AND SOMEONE (HARRY) TELLS HIM THAT HE’S NOT COLORING INSIDE HIS LINES CORRECTLY AND DRACO GLARES AT HIM AND SAYS THAT ACTUALLY /SCARFACE/ HE DOES NOT TAKE /ORDERS/ FROM /LINES/ AND HARRY SAYS ‘BUT THAT’S THE RULE’ AND DRACO SNEERS /JUST WAIT TIL MY FATHER HEARS ABOUT THIS THEN WE’LL SEE HOW IMPORTANT YOUR BLOODY LINES ARE/

#picturing little draco imperiously shouting WHAT IS A CRAYOLA and harry quickly is like crayola’s terrible here use roseart instead and dean thomas hides a grin and draco throws his box of crayons at harry’s head and says DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO but he picks up a roseart crayon because it’s time to get started on his pièce de résistance which he calls ‘die potter die’ and features no less than seventeen ways in which he’d like harry to meet his end one of which involves hary tripping over his own feet into a vat of acid except roseart is shit everyone knows that WHAT IS THIS draco howls indignantly PROFESSOR POTTER IS TRYING TO SABOTAGE MY MASTERPIECE TELL HIM TO GIVE ME THE CRAYOLA and harry’s like fine malfoy look we can share and draco’s like I DON’T THINK SO POTTER YOU’VE ALREADY TRIED TO SABOTAGE ME ONCE I CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOUR DEVILISH WILES

#THE POTTER CHILD IS EVERYTHING YOU SAID HE WOULD BE AND WORSE FATHER WAX CRAYONS I TELL YOU HE WOULD HAVE ME USE WAX CRAYONS IT’S UNTHINKABLE FATHER IT’S POSITIVELY UNACCEPTABLE DON’T YOU THINK #draco writes violently on a sheet of purple construction paper #lucius weeps when he reads it then sits in his study looking consumptive and tragic until narcissa brings him a stiff drink

(Source: frrenzetic)

carriehopefletcher:

regretisfortheliving:

bowtiesarecool4:

This is deep, man

one of the greatest piece of information taught to me in life was from a fucking deranged talking baboon

I love this!

(Source: neogohann)

medioxumatepoet:

missionlameturtle:

andrysb24:

mandkips:

#and then he dies #and she starts killing people

Not to mention the whole damn town gets cursed

he doesn’t just DIE, he’s lynched because the Gaston-equivalent sees them together and the whole town is horribly racist and that’s why she starts killing people

I WILL DEFEND THESE TWO TO THE GRAVE

(Source: ashagreyjoyed)

shouldnt:

THIS IS THE CUTEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN.

laughhard:

In a video game there would definitely be something hidden behind this wall

condorn:

Ok so when i went to this church retreat thing this guy was telling us a story about his friend who was sitting on a plane next to Eminem the rapper but she had no clue that it was him ok. So he like looked at her and was like ” you arent going to ask for an autograph or anything??” and she was like “what?” He was all like “im eminem!” and literally she had the most confused look her face bc she had no idea  who he was and her response was, “and I’m skittles?”

(Source: condom)

tardis-blueimpala:

findthepaththatisyourown:

peaceloveandstarwars:

“I was walking down the boardwalk in Venice Beach and some kids had probably two litters of puppies in a cardbord box. They were maybe a day to 3 days old and she was at the very bottom of the box and she couldn’t open her eyes yet. Nearly could fit into the palm of my hand.. and they were like ‘gimme 300 dollars!’ and I was like ‘I got 20 bucks on me. Give me the one that’s not gonna make it through the day.’ And I took her to the vet and he was like ‘I don’t know, man. She’s too young, she shouldn’t be away from her mom.’ So I bottle-fed her for a month and she used to kiss her way around which is how she got her name ‘Bisou’ - it means ‘kiss’ in french. And 12 years later, here she is.”

ALL OF MY CREYS

I… love… THIS MAN.

liamstewrt:

Amy Pond. All alone. The girl who didn’t make sense.

ahs-delrey:

silent-asmodeus:

artisticgamzee:

sandkastledisko:

kentmckellan:

Sums up my relationship with pizza quite nicely

Agreed

FeliCIA THO

If you don’t have Felicia Day seductively eating pizza on your blog, you aren’t blogging right.

me in front of your man

(Source: tragers)

  • Misha Collins:

    When I was nine, I learned a joke. And told it to my grandmother. It's a bit if pantomime.

  • *motions to "come here" with finger; fan walks up*

  • Misha Collins:

    I bet I can make you come with one finger.